Fears and dance is a really close thing for me…

Now that we are coming back to “normal” after several u-turns, it is not surprising that new and old fears show up lurking, waiting for a moment to grasp your diaphragm and hold so strong that you feel suffocated.  

Personally, I have been struggling with, and sometimes I still do, several fears related to my profession and passion. My reaction was to: 

• Escape
• Recognize them
• Face them
• Embrace them

Fears and dance: What is fear anyway?

Fear is a distressing or preventing feeling caused by a real or an imaginary presence that makes us think that something is going to end up in an undesired way, or that we are not going to meet our own or other’s expectations.   

In any given interaction or artistic realization, exposure to vulnerability is present. Don’t forget that what we do is bare our souls, so sometimes we feel defenseless and literally naked.   

I’ve felt this way repeatedly and still do, when performing or teaching. As I said before, I’ve walked down that path and I still do, I want to run away, but I don’t, I try to figure out what it going on, try to fight back against it…and after so much effort, I sit down, reassess, and finally I accept it and make it part of me. 

In my opinion, the opposite of this fear I am talking about is love. One has to be very brave to love. And since we love deeply what we do, we feel driven and motivated to overcome the inaction.   

I feel very lucky because dance saved me in many occasions. Dance is movement, it makes us go on, feel and enjoy. Fear is strong when you find yourself on the exact opposite side: the no-movement. Fear is paralyzing. 

A personal contribution:

Once upon a time in New Delhi, I was traveling on my own loaded with baggage. I took a “rickshaw” to go to my guesthouse. I wasn’t sure about the way (it wasn’t my first time there) but I could imagine if we were getting near. The driver started talking about a hotel owned by his friend (this wasn’t a surprise, actually it is very typical), and although I was being clear and sad no, he was insisting and smiling kindly.

In a certain moment, I figured that he turned off the way. I was so nervous. I suddenly changed my tone and in a very serious way, I explained him that I didn’t want to change my accommodation, but he wouldn’t listen, and he sped up. Out of the blue, I yelled at him and shook him nervously. He stopped the car immediately and was very confused, so I took my baggage by myself, shouting, and told him to leave. 

My story has a happy ending; I took another “rickshaw” which took me to my accommodation. The intention of sharing my story is not to tell about the panic I felt, but to tell you about something that saved me from my own fear and made me react: the instinct.  

So, my recommendation is that, in any given situation, professional or personal, never stop listening that force, the red lights, voice, or whatever we call it, from within, that makes you keep going towards the right way, the one you have chosen. 

I’ll like to talk about more specific fears on my next posts, stay tuned for more!

Do you want to learn with me? Please remind that now is possible thanks to my online school!! You are always welcome.